Difficult doesn't always look dramatic. It can be a parent who was critical instead of curious, or unpredictable instead of steady, or who needed you to manage their moods before you'd even learned to manage your own. It can be someone you still love, still call, still defend to other people — and someone whose voice still shows up in your head when you make a decision they'd disapprove of.
That contradiction is exactly why this is hard to untangle on your own. You're not just dealing with what happened. You're dealing with what you had to become to handle it — hyper-alert, overly responsible, quick to apologize, slow to trust that people will stay. Loyalty doesn't cancel that out. You can hold both.
You don't need to cut your parents out or rewrite them as villains to do this work. You just need somewhere to look honestly at how being their kid shaped the adult you became.
Victoria Brassard Counselling offers attachment-based therapy for adult children of difficult parents in Kingston, in-person downtown and virtually across Ontario.
This work might be for you if this sounds familiar…
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You're still managing them, even now
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Bracing before phone calls or visits
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Rehearsing how to say things so they won't react badly
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Feeling responsible for their moods, their happiness, or their opinion of you
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You minimize how hard it actually was
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Comparing your childhood to worse ones and deciding you have no right to struggle
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Defending them before anyone's even criticized them
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Feeling disloyal for even naming what was difficult
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The patterns followed you into adulthood
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Choosing partners, friends, or bosses who feel familiar in ways that don't feel good for you
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Struggling to trust praise, care, or people who are consistently kind
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A grief for the parent you needed and didn't get, even if the one you have is still around
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As a therapist in Kingston working with clients navigating difficult parent relationships, I help you understand what you had to become to survive that dynamic, without requiring you to villainize the people who raised you.
What working together looks like
This work isn't about cutting off your parents or rewriting your family history. Here's how we build your path forward.
In your first session, we talk about what "difficult" actually looked like day to day, and how it's still showing up for you now.
Over the next few sessions, we look at what you learned to do to keep the peace, stay safe, or earn approval, and start separating those old survival strategies from who you actually are.
As therapy continues, you build the ability to set limits with your parents, in your head or out loud, without the guilt swallowing you whole.
With consistent support, this work helps you stay in relationship with them, if that's what you want, without losing yourself in the process.
A safe, inclusive space for healing in Downtown Kingston.
My approach combines Emotionally Focused Therapy, narrative therapy, and parts work, all grounded in a humanistic, trauma-informed lens. I am deeply committed to making sure this is a room where your relationship with your parents can be complicated without judgment.
In-person office | 20 Montreal Street #2, Kingston, ON
Virtual care available across Ontario
Covered by most Registered Psychotherapist insurance benefits
Ready to take the next step?
You don't need to have decided how you feel about your parents before you come in. That's part of what we'll work out together. Start with a free 15-minute consultation.