You can list your accomplishments. Rehearse your worth in the mirror before a meeting. Remind yourself, calmly and rationally, that you're being too hard on yourself. And still feel small the second someone seems disappointed in you.
That gap between what you know and what you feel isn't a logic problem. It's not something you can out-argue. Somewhere along the way, you learned that you had to earn the right to take up space, and no amount of evidence to the contrary has been enough to undo it. You've just gotten better at compensating for it: working harder, apologizing more, needing less, so no one finds out.
The belief has to be understood before it can loosen, not out-reasoned. And understanding it is a lot less exhausting than the years you've already spent compensating for it.
Victoria Brassard Counselling offers compassionate, direct self-esteem therapy in Kingston, in-person downtown and virtually across Ontario.
Self-esteem therapy might be for you if this sounds familiar…
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You perform instead of just showing up
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Overpreparing for conversations that shouldn't require it
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Downplaying wins so no one thinks you're full of yourself
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Feeling like an impostor even when the evidence says otherwise
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Other people's opinions carry more weight than your own
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Replaying interactions, looking for signs someone's upset with you
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Struggling to say what you actually want, especially if it might disappoint someone
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Feeling responsible for how everyone around you feels
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Your worth feels conditional
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Believing you're only as good as your last success
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Difficulty accepting compliments or care without deflecting
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A quiet, constant sense that you're one mistake away from being found out
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As a self-esteem therapist in Kingston, I help clients stop managing the belief that they're not enough and start understanding where it came from, so it stops running the show.
*If not better explained by a medical concern.
What working together looks like
Self-esteem therapy isn't about hyping yourself up or repeating affirmations you don't believe. Here's how we build your path forward.
In your first session, we talk about where "not enough" shows up in your life right now: at work, in relationships, in the quiet moments no one else sees.
Over the next few sessions, we trace that belief back to where it started, and start separating what's actually true from what you learned to believe about yourself to stay safe.
As therapy continues, you start noticing the belief in real time the second it shows up instead of only recognizing it after it's already run your day.
With consistent support, self-esteem therapy helps you take up space without earning it first, and rest without proving you deserve it.
A safe, inclusive space for healing in Downtown Kingston.
My approach combines Emotionally Focused Therapy, narrative therapy, and parts work, all grounded in a humanistic, trauma-informed lens. As a queer and neurodivergent practitioner, I am deeply committed to making sure this is a room where you never have to earn the right to be understood.
In-person office | 20 Montreal Street #2, Kingston, ON
Virtual care available across Ontario
Covered by most Registered Psychotherapist insurance benefits
Ready to take the next step?
You don't need to have it all figured out, or even be sure this is "bad enough" to bring to therapy. Start with a free 15-minute consultation.